Hard to Love
by Danni1989
Summary: Set after the Mikealson's Ball in 3x14. On Christmas Eve Elena is called to the Grille to deal with a drunk and disorderly Damon Salvatore. Written for the 2015 A2A Exchange on LiveJournal.


**This was written for dope_rev for the 2015 A2A Xmas Exchange on LiveJournal. Her prompt:**

 **Suggestion: Set after 3x14, the Mikaelson's Ball during which Elena states that Damon's love for her might be the problem.**

 **Elena realises that this Christmas is not going to be merry at all as she finds herself alone at home on the 24th until the phone rings and an exhausted Sheriff Forbes begs her to come and pick up a drunk Damon Salvatore, who's compelled half the girls to be his playmates [not sexually, just for entertainment like dancing on the table ;)].**

 **I'd like to see a cocky and tough Damon.**  
 **Also my first time participating and yay, this is gonna be fun**

* * *

In that space between asleep and awake I finally registered my phone vibrating across my bedside table. I opened my eyes and stared at the clock, groaning when it read midnight. So far it had been the most depressing Christmas Eve known to man with everyone off doing their own thing and Damon ignoring me. I couldn't really blame him though after the debacle of the Mikealson ball. It was another case of saying what I didn't mean. Sometimes I never thought before I spoke and that was one of those times. I looked at the screen and sighed when I saw Liz's name flash across the screen. It was midnight on Christmas Eve so that could only mean one thing.

"Hello." I greeted, my voice still slightly groggy from that half-asleep, half-awake state.

"Elena, I'm sorry to wake you, but I have a bit of an issue." She said with an apologetic lilt to her voice.

"It's okay, Liz. What's going on?" I asked dragging my hand across my eyes and sitting up in bed. I needed to be alert, especially if I needed to leave in a hurry. It was a vampire infested town, so there was always some catastrophe going on. There was rarely an action less night, even when I desperately wanted one. I just wanted one night to wallow in my miscommunication. I didn't mean that his love was a problem in those words exactly.

"It's Damon. He's causing problems at the Grill." She told me and I sighed. Of course it had to be something to do with alcohol, but I knew from experience that it took a lot of it to affect a vampire. Damon was hurt, or angry, or both and that wasn't a good thing. I just hoped he hadn't returned to his old bad habits. I hated to think he was hurting and compelling innocent humans. That wasn't who he was anymore.

"What kind of problems?" I asked hopefully. With any luck he would simply be refusing to leave when they were trying to leave. That would be the best thing that could possibly happen, but with Damon it was never that simple. It was times like this that I regretted having these pesky feelings for him. He made it very difficult to love him but sometimes he made it so very simple. It was dangerous.

"He refuses to leave even though its past closing time. The booze is flowing and he's getting unruly. He's compelled a bunch of co-eds to dance with him and give him a show. If I know Damon as much as I feel I do, he's trying to forget something or live up to the bad side of himself that he feels that he has. I know that side exists, I just wish it didn't." Liz told me and I shook my head.

"What can I do to help?" I asked. He was hurt so I needed to fix it as best I can. Maybe I could explain to him that I didn't mean what he thought I did. I needed to get through to him since it was clear that Liz was failing.

"You can come here and try to talk some sense into him. He won't listen to me. I've tried but he won't listen to me. I think it's up to you. I fear that the Grill won't be standing tomorrow if I let this continue." She said and I shook my head and pushed my legs out of bed. I didn't want to leave my house and deal with my drunk and disorderly vampire love interest. I didn't know what to call him, love interest seemed like the most accurate choice of words.

"I'll be there in a few minutes Liz." I said with a sigh.

"Okay, thank you so much Elena. I'm sorry for disrupting your Christmas Eve." She said apologizing once again.

"You couldn't make it any worse than it already was. Rescuing Damon from himself is just another thing to add to the list of crap things in my life." I told her and I could hear her sigh on the other end.

"If you ever need anything Elena, you know you can always come to me. I want to be an adult you trust." She said as I grabbed my car keys. I was wearing a pair of black lounge pants and a tank top. I slipped a cardigan over top deciding it was good enough to go to the Grill at closing time to retrieve Damon.

"I know that Liz. Thanks though. It's just spending Christmas Eve alone sucks." I said brightening my voice for her. She couldn't think I was completely depressed or else she would try to help me. There was no way she could help. It was just a series of bad choices that made me this disappointed in my life.

"I'll see you soon. Thanks again, Elena." She said before disconnecting the call. I hung up and walked into the blizzard outside.

The drive was short, but it took longer than usual because of the icy road conditions and the fact that I was still half asleep. The blaring music was clear down the street, which was not a good sign for what I'd find inside.

"Oh Damon, please don't do anything stupid." I sighed as I parked my car. Liz came outside when she saw the headlights from my car.

"Thank you for this Elena. He's getting rowdy in there." Liz said with a shake of her head.

"I'm always afraid of what I'm going to find." I said getting out of the car.

"It's not as bad as you think. They're all mostly clothed." She responded and I chuckled slightly before heading into the Grill.

The music was head-splitting loud inside and I could see why. He had the jukebox blaring, as he danced on the bar with several co-eds.

"You're not welcome here." He sing-songed to the tune of "Only the good die young."

"I'm here to take you home." I called, hoping he'd go easy.

"Nope, not a chance. I don't want to go home with you when I could have my choice in any one of these hot co-eds." He said grinding into the blonde in front of him.

"Damon, Sheriff Forbes said you had to leave. It's past closing time." I urged him and he shook his head and drank bourbon right from the bottle.

"I don't have to leave. Me being here isn't a problem. Apparently only my love is." He muttered and I shook my head.

"I didn't mean what I said. If you'd give me a chance I would explain." I insisted but he shook his head from the bar.

"Nah, I'm quite good with dancing with my new friends." He said dancing for a little while longer. When he had his fill of dancing he jumped off the bar and sat down on one of the stools that he had pushed back a bit further than usual. "Dance for me." He commanded the girls. The two blondes started grinding on each other for Damon's viewing pleasure and he looked to be enjoying it judging by the smile on his face.

"I didn't mean it Damon." I said and he frowned.

"It's awfully convenient that you're saying that since you're here to take me home." He said idly as he focused solely on the girls on the bar.

"I mean every word." I told him and he shook his head.

"You don't get to change your mind whenever it suits you. Either my love or lack thereof right now is a problem or it's not. You can't have it both ways." He told me, sounding like the normal sober Damon again.

"I don't want to have it both ways, and I don't want for your love to not exist anymore. You mean a lot to me Damon." I said.

"It's too late for you to decide you want to be with me. You already decided my love is a problem, so I'll just be sure to become someone else's problem. Maybe Barbie Klaus is up for another round." He mused. That hurt far more than I cared to admit. When I saw that they had gotten together it had hurt so badly. I never thought he would use it against me again.

"You know what, fine. I was just trying to save you from being arrested but you clearly don't care. It's not worth this abuse." I decided. I'd had enough of this vicious cycle. We went from being friends to him making some sort of mistimed confession of his feelings to me saying something stupid to this. I was sick of always getting hurt when we went through this cycle. Eventually he would stop surprising me, but today was clearly not that day.

"Wow, won't you look at that, the self-righteous Elena Gilbert is finally walking away. Just figuring out that you can't save everyone?" He called as I began to walk away.

"I clearly can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. I never thought you were a lost cause before but now I sort of do. You have every right to be angry with me but sleeping with Rebekah to get to me is low." I said before walking out.

"Didn't go well?" Liz asked. She was leaning against her car waiting for me.

"No, I can't help him if he doesn't want to be helped. He refused to leave and said some very hurtful things." I said softly. I didn't want him to hear the sadness in my voice. Cutting him off was harder than you'd imagine because his love was one of the things that kept me going.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this Elena. I'll go inside and take care of this, you go home and get some rest." Liz told me squeezing my arm.

"Okay, thanks. If he doesn't leave, then just let him do his thing. It's better than making him angry." I told her even though I knew she knew what to do with him. Damon was unpredictable but not really. When he was hurt he lashed out like he did with me.

When I got home I put my cardigan on my chair and got into bed. I wasn't sad, I was angrier than anything else. I didn't understand why he wouldn't let anyone help him. He helped so many people but when he was hurt he just lashed out instead of letting someone explain. I wanted to hit something but I knew it was just better to simmer down on my own.

"I never would have done it, you know?" A voice from my window called. I rolled over to see Damon climbing in through my bedroom window. I was feeling petulant so I rolled away from him. I had nothing to say to him, especially not now.

"I have a door though, it'd be nice if you'd use it." I spat and he chuckled.

"And give you the chance to not let me in? Not a chance." He argued and I shook my head. I refused to give him the response he wanted. I wouldn't look at him.

"It's my turn to not want you here. Why don't you go out and find Rebekah?" I hissed and he shook his head.

"We both know it's not Rebekah I want. It's not tonight and it wasn't that night either. I've never wanted her." He told me but I was still resistant to even look at him.

"Then why would you say that to me? After all this time you should know how I feel about you." I said still not looking at him. I was lying on my side, staring at the floor.

"Because I was hurt. Because you threw my love back at me one too many times. I wasn't thinking rationally and we both know what happens when I stop thinking rationally." He explained kneeling in front of me.

"You really need to stop that, but this time it wasn't entirely your fault I guess. I shouldn't have said what I said either, especially when I didn't mean it." I told him and he just stared at me, silently imploring me to continue.

"What did you mean?" He asked when he finally realized I wasn't going to answer.

"I don't know. All I know is that I didn't mean what I said. I admit, sometimes your love has been a problem for me, just not this time. It hasn't been a problem for far longer than I want to admit." I confessed. He was being honest with me, so I figured I'd be honest too. I didn't know for sure how I felt about him, but I knew it was very nearly love. I was either falling in love or already fallen. It was inevitable, I understand why all those women kept falling for him.

"At least that's honest. Can you tell me one thing? Do you think you could ever have feelings for me beyond attraction? You've admitted to being attracted to me, but could you ever want more? I want to make sure we're on the same page." He asked and I sighed.

"I feel far more for you then I wish I did sometimes. You're hard to love, but I know sometime it'll pay off." I told him and he just stared at me for a second.

"Okay, either I'm still drunk or you just said in a fairly insulting way that you love me." He said shaking his head as he spoke.

"You're not drunk. I'm sick of denying my feelings for you. I'm sick of pretending I'm still pining for Stefan when it's you I want. I'm tired of averting my gaze milliseconds before you notice that I'm staring at you with my mouth agape. I'm tired of telling everyone that it's always going to be Stefan, especially since it hasn't been him in a while. Most of all, I'm finished pretending that I don't love you when it's the most intense feeling I've ever had. I'm sick of hiding and of lying. I'm sick of not going after what I want, and what I want is you." I spoke passionately, imploring him to believe what I just said. There were only so many lies a person could handle and I was at the end of my rope. I couldn't take anymore and I had to tell him how I felt. He just continued kneeling before me with his mouth agape this time. If his mouth stayed open any longer he would start catching flies.

"Did you just mean all of that?" He asked finally.

"Yes. Completely. It just took too much time for me to realize it and admit it." I told him. He smiled that rare but beautiful smile that he had. The one that he hid from everyone because it somehow made him more vulnerable. I've seen it on a couple occasions but it was rare.

"About time." He said before taking my face in his hands and kissing me like his life depended on it. A kiss like that caused a girl to lose everything that kept her grounded. It felt like I was flying high as I scrambled to sit up- to get closer to him. We were devouring each other, lips and teeth were clashing, tongues were duelling. Soon enough I was moved over on the bed enough for him to climb on after me. His arms were wrapped around me as he lowered me down until my head was on the pillow and he was hovering over me.

"I want you so bad." I whispered when he broke the kiss to let me breath.

"Good, because I want you too. So bad." He murmured against the skin of my throat. I was already so wound up and he hadn't even touched any part of me that should illicit that sort of reaction. His hands were on the bed next to us, holding himself up. I wanted all of him pressed on me and in me. I ran my hands up under his shirt, to feel his skin under my fingertips. I pushed him up with my hands on his chest and he sat up with his legs on either side of my hips. I sat up with him and pulled my shirt off and tossed it on the floor. I was already not wearing a bra because I was in bed. He leaned in and kissed me again, this time he had his hands on my breasts and I was so happy I moaned deeply into his mouth. He tweaked my nipples with his fingers as he expertly controlled our kiss. Soon his shirt was on the floor along with my pants and panties. I was working on getting his jeans off when he got off of me and unceremoniously pushed them down.

"Holy shit." I moaned when I actually let myself look at his naked body. I'd had more than one opportunity in the past to look at his body nude but I always resisted. Man was I stupid. He was a work of art.

"Impressed?" He asked cheekily and I shrugged in response. He crawled back onto the bed and I reached out to wrap my hand around his erection. I marvelled how something so hard could feel so soft. It was a mystery that I didn't care to think about now. There were more important things to be doing. I rubbed him up and down as he settled himself over me. I smiled up at him and kissed him as I continued to stroke him from base to tip. "You need to stop that or else this will be over before it even began."

"I'm confident that you could get it up again in record time." I whispered in his ear and he growled before pulling my hand from him and pinning them over my head.

"Naughty minx." He said before taking a playful nip at my neck. I groaned again and bucked against him, signalling that I wanted him inside me. He obliged me and smirked as he shoved inside me in one fluid thrust. I was so wet that there was no discomfort at all. He was far bigger than anyone else I'd ever been with. I moaned low in my throat when he filled me to my limit and again when he started moving slowly in and out of me. His smirk disappeared when I squeezed my internal muscles around him.

"Harder." I urged him and he smirked and pulled out.

"Your wish is my command." He said before lifting my legs and pinning them to my chest. I was relieved I kept up on my yoga because this could get uncomfortable any other way. When he thrust in this time it was much harder. He repeated the same action several times until I was nearly screaming in pleasure. He apparently loved how I was losing control and it spurned him on even further. He was fucking me harder than I'd ever been fucked before and I loved it. I loved every second of it. I loved how his muscles flexed with every powerful push and how his breathing was getting more and more laboured.

"Come Elena." He ordered me and I reached up to kiss him. I dominated the kiss this time as he dominated the rest of my body. He thrust a couple more times before I went off. My eyes closed and I tensed under him. He kept rocking into me until his climax his suddenly. He spilled inside me with a soft call of my name and lay his head against my chest.

"That was incredible." I whispered when everything finally centered again. I knew where I was and who I was once again.

"It was definitely something. I'm not sure there are words to describe that. I think we'll need to do it again to figure it out." He said cheekily and I laughed.

"I'm only human, fiend. Lay down and we'll do it again later. Don't even think about leaving." I ordered him.

"Do you need anything?" He asked me and I smiled.

"A glass of water would be nice." I answered.

"I'll be right back, then I'll let you rest for a while." He told me and I watched as he got out of bed not bothering to put any clothes on. He smirked at me over his shoulder as he walked out of the room completely nude. I rolled onto my back and smiled up at my ceiling. I couldn't remember a time I'd been this happy and I never would have anticipated it being Damon Salvatore who made me smile like that.


End file.
